"Live every day as if it were your last..."
Blow Dart Bingo!
When the chips are down, these are really high stakes! Enjoy everyone's favorite game with your peers in a fast-paced bingo hall setting. Place your chips and yell out "BINGO"! A deadly poison blow dart will be swiftly administered to the back of your neck. We believe that the the adrenaline rush will make this a perfectly painless way to go AND you'll be a winner for all of Eternity! 
Death Coaster!
The final frontier for the coaster enthusiast in you! When we port at our private island in the South Pacific you will be swiftly escorted to our private euthanasia coaster on which you will loop de loop for all of Infinity! |
Agatha Christie
Murder Mystery Act out your WILDEST fantasies! Volunteers will be selected for our nightly murder mystery shows in front of a live audience and on the main stage. Nobody in the cast will know who the victim will be until it happens. Studies have shown that keeping you on the edge of your seat will assist you in going quickly and painlessly. 
Death by Broadway
If Broadway isn't your thing, and nothing else has worked, then Death by Broadway may be your only way out. Our research has shown that if you're one of those aware citizens who is sick of the regurgetation of Jukebox Americana, then this particular musical could put a healthy horse, let alone you, out to pasture. You have our every sympathy for having to go out this way... |
Cage Free Swimming with Sharks!
formerly Walk the Plank! You've been dying to try it and now you can! There will be no pesky friends and family trying to convince you not to - just the opposite - you'll have a roaring crowd of willing participants to egg you on. Come try what the Neptune Society would never dare! |